Well, I guess I’m back already. I think you already know what
I’m gonna rant on. Everything seems to focus on him, for that matter.

I really have no idea if he still feels the sane way for me. Call me desperate or whatever, but I really want to experience the feeling or being loved. Really really. I don’t want to lose him. He’s been the sweetest so far, and I know I’ll be really happy too.

So I guess I’m praying again this time. Praying hard.

Dear god,
I know that I always come to you whenever I have something on my mind. I feel really guilty too though, knowing that what you’re doing for me is something that I cannot reciprocate and that I may sometimes ask too much. I’ll try though, to repay all these in the form of helping others without expecting anything in return. I’ll really try hard to alter my thinking and mindset too. I’ll definitely try. It’s just that I’m really feeling very lonely. There’s so many days when I don’t feel loved at all. I know that around me there’re many awesome friends which I treasure. Yet I can’t seem to find one of the opposite sex. Sigh. They just don’t last.

For this god, I really regret. I really regret not hinting back, not giving him enough hope. I guess in the light of all these, I must have forgotten that he’s human too. There were many ups and downs, yet at all the downs I prayed, and everything managed to turn out alright again. I wanted to thank you god, for giving us another chance. Really. Thanks for hearing me out, thanks for that day. I really thought it was all over between us.

But now, I don’t get his feelings at all. I really don’t enjoy being ignorant and unsure. Not sure if it’s too late for me. Not sure if he still likes me. I really really hope he does though. I don’t know what I’ll do if he has already given up. Sometimes he’s just so sweet, especially that call yesterday, I was still convinced he might like me. But now, I really can’t tell. You have no idea how much I look forward to the word ‘baby’ in his goodnight message, and how disappointed I am when it doesn’t appear. Sigh, please god, I begging you, help me alright? I’m really feelin so sad right now, at the thought that his feelings might have really faded. Please help me god, don’t let that happen alright? Please give us a chance to go out. Fate has been cruel to us so far, and it makes me really sad. I don’t mind being with him, I might even love him. I’m ready god, so please let me have this experience. Help me god, let us be more fated and let everything be alright between us. I really don’t want to continue feeling this insecure for so long anymore. Really really hope that we can be together. And that his feelings for me are the same as last time, if not stronger. Please let me be assured, and well, let him confess to me so that I can let him know how I feel too.

Thank you so much god. Thanks for always being there for me abd helping me in everything. I really deeply and truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Thanks god, I love you. Amen.