Today was undeniably great. When he sent me home. I was really nervous, but to me it all went well. Not sure about what he thinks though.

An I realised I like him. Not in the I love you kind of way, but enough for a relationship. But sigh, I’m so sad though that he might not feel the same way as me anymore. Why did my feelings kick in so late? Why do I take so long to fall for someone? Look what happens. Now I don’t even know if he still
feels the same way for me. My heart aches though. One sided love is just so hard.

I’m so sad. The way he replied my texts, I could tell he probably didn’t feel the same way. I must have looked like a fool. Now, he’d probably went to sleep without saying goodnight. I feel so stupid, really. So stupid for getting my hopes up. He probably sents countless girls
home too.

I kind of hoped that he would ask me out, but he didn’t. Has he really given up on me? Gosh, I feel so depressed.

Dear god, sometimes when I pray to you at night, there are many things that can’t be placed into speech. Perhaps words are simply the best. I really really hope that he still has feelings for me, and that he hasn’t given up on me yet. I’m really praying hard and begging you god, please please let this be true. Please please don’t let him lose hope or give up on me. Please let him be willing to give a relationship a shot. I don’t know how he found today, but i really
hope that to him, everything turned out alright. Please god, give us a chance to be together. There were so many ups and downs for us, and I just wanted to thank you god, for keep giving us chances. Yet, I really
hope that everything will still turn out alright. Please let him suspect that I like him and let him ask the question. Please god, please let something happen. I really want to have a shot at this. Thank you god, I really hope i’m not too late. Thank you so much god, I’m thanking you from the bottom of my heart, really. Thank you.

Amen. I love you.

And dear god, if it isn’t too much to ask for, could you arrange for
us to me tomorrow?
Let him ask me out. Thank you so much god. Amen.